The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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