went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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