she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
