Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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