He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
