I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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