THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
