i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
