WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
