Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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