I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
God, I missed his penis.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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