My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
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