Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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