This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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