You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
