Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
