I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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