She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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