I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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