I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
