so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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