What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
