craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
