Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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