There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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