i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Randomize
