then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
