Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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