I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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