well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
