Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
