I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
