So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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