Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
