4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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