What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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