Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
