she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
