Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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