Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
