you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
