we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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