Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We left the knife in your bed.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
