Since when is my name a synonym for head?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
you made out with another girl for some wings
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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