I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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