Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i already hear my dad disowning me
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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