I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize