I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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