my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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