If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
