I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
