well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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