I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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