Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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