How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
