margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
